Those that know me well enough have at least heard that I've requested my marriage be arranged (non-traditionally). Some people seem to be perplexed when they hear this and immediately challenge me...some yet will raise their eyebrows and not say a word, probably thinking I'm crazy. But a few - very few - have encouraged me in this.
- - This is not the long awaited-fully disclosed description of what I hope my arranged marriage may look like and how I pray it at least slightly comes together. - -
There was something I witnessed when I was eleven years old - at the time I truly considered it to be stupidity and hypocrisy at their finest, but I've relented a bit regarding the matter since then. When I encountered two older friends discussing their latest crushes and their desires to go to this event and that event with these popular guys I could have been enticed to simply cheer them on. Honestly, when I was sitting there - quite awkwardly - all I could think was, "Why?" Yet I, being the shy, sheltered, home-schooled girl, kept my mouth shut and silently contemplated the topic.
Having grown up in a God-fearing home and been part of a solid fellowship of believers, I knew that divorce was wrong. That it broke God's heart and it was (in a simple sense) going against your word. It was something beautiful being broken by choice - it was preventable, yet somewhere along the line one or both parties in the marriage actually considered it an option. This understanding at eleven years old crossed over to my developing thoughts about dating and relationships. Why date if you aren't committed to pursuing marriage? Doesn't dating just continually leave it an option to break up if it gets tough or someone else seems better one day? Okay, hear me out - I AM NOT CONDEMNING DATING. These are simply a couple of the thoughts that began to occur to me when I was eleven years old, and they turned me off completely to dating. (I can imagine someone reading this and starting to think, "She must have read I Kissed Dating Goodbye." Well, I did read it...five years later...and I hated it!! So, ha! [Stereotypers.])
After listening in on this conversation between my two friends, my over-analytical mind continued to roam. I resolved that day to love one man and one man only in my lifetime. I began investing in him, my warrior poet, by praying for him regularly and writing him letters on occasion.
About two years later I remember riding in the car with my mom somewhere and over the radio (some Christian station) was a broadcast about the "Proverbs 31 woman." I had never read Proverbs 31 intently, nor had I ever been taught from that particular chapter. So, having been struck with "that sounds like something worth reading," I looked it up when we got home and THIS is is the verse that the Spirit highlighted for me:
I wish I could say that I only ever have loved him, but that's not true. Those closest to me already know about another LONG chapter in my life (that I do not regret). What I regret is my pride that grew over the matter of loving only my warrior poet. All I will say in conclusion of this is that God is purposeful and He does not waste anything in our lives.
So today, I'm loving my man, my warrior poet, mostly with prayer & a few other creative things. A highly valued resource I came across a couple years ago, though, is "31 Days of Praying for Your Husband" from Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I have a copy printed out and I use it as a guide for praying for my warrior poet. I love him; I really do.
I'm excited during this season, though, to be able to trust warriors God has placed in my life to scout out my warrior poet and invest in both him and me. Eh, more about those details later...sometime...maybe...eventually....
- - This is not the long awaited-fully disclosed description of what I hope my arranged marriage may look like and how I pray it at least slightly comes together. - -
There was something I witnessed when I was eleven years old - at the time I truly considered it to be stupidity and hypocrisy at their finest, but I've relented a bit regarding the matter since then. When I encountered two older friends discussing their latest crushes and their desires to go to this event and that event with these popular guys I could have been enticed to simply cheer them on. Honestly, when I was sitting there - quite awkwardly - all I could think was, "Why?" Yet I, being the shy, sheltered, home-schooled girl, kept my mouth shut and silently contemplated the topic.
Having grown up in a God-fearing home and been part of a solid fellowship of believers, I knew that divorce was wrong. That it broke God's heart and it was (in a simple sense) going against your word. It was something beautiful being broken by choice - it was preventable, yet somewhere along the line one or both parties in the marriage actually considered it an option. This understanding at eleven years old crossed over to my developing thoughts about dating and relationships. Why date if you aren't committed to pursuing marriage? Doesn't dating just continually leave it an option to break up if it gets tough or someone else seems better one day? Okay, hear me out - I AM NOT CONDEMNING DATING. These are simply a couple of the thoughts that began to occur to me when I was eleven years old, and they turned me off completely to dating. (I can imagine someone reading this and starting to think, "She must have read I Kissed Dating Goodbye." Well, I did read it...five years later...and I hated it!! So, ha! [Stereotypers.])
After listening in on this conversation between my two friends, my over-analytical mind continued to roam. I resolved that day to love one man and one man only in my lifetime. I began investing in him, my warrior poet, by praying for him regularly and writing him letters on occasion.
About two years later I remember riding in the car with my mom somewhere and over the radio (some Christian station) was a broadcast about the "Proverbs 31 woman." I had never read Proverbs 31 intently, nor had I ever been taught from that particular chapter. So, having been struck with "that sounds like something worth reading," I looked it up when we got home and THIS is is the verse that the Spirit highlighted for me:
[An excellent wife] does [her husband] good, and not harm, all the days of her life. (Proverbs 31:12, emphasis mine)"All the days of her life." That doesn't mean just when I'm married - it covers my entire life - even before marriage! And it was settled in my mind...there was no way that I was going to risk doing harm to my husband by dating. My warrior poet was (is) too precious to me to spend any such devoted time with any other man but him!
I wish I could say that I only ever have loved him, but that's not true. Those closest to me already know about another LONG chapter in my life (that I do not regret). What I regret is my pride that grew over the matter of loving only my warrior poet. All I will say in conclusion of this is that God is purposeful and He does not waste anything in our lives.
So today, I'm loving my man, my warrior poet, mostly with prayer & a few other creative things. A highly valued resource I came across a couple years ago, though, is "31 Days of Praying for Your Husband" from Nancy Leigh DeMoss. I have a copy printed out and I use it as a guide for praying for my warrior poet. I love him; I really do.
I'm excited during this season, though, to be able to trust warriors God has placed in my life to scout out my warrior poet and invest in both him and me. Eh, more about those details later...sometime...maybe...eventually....
∞אני לדודי ודודי לי∞
